I’ll Get You For This, Autocorrect!

We’ve all be the victims of autocorrect. Typing something out in a rush on those tiny screens and hitting send before we read the message leaves us vulnerable. Even the most sophisticated grammar check doesn’t always know exactly what we mean, and so many words are so closely spelled that one letter here or there makes it something completely different. Before you know it, you’ve asked your friend if you can borrow their copy of Harry Potato and the Sorcerer’s Stove and you feel like a complete idiot when they laugh at you.

I hate it when I first get a new phone and there are all kinds of things that I have to add to the dictionary. Like my friends’ names. It keeps arguing with me that certain names aren’t words—as if it is my fault their parents spelled their names that way. I swear I had nothing to do with any of that. And then that issue everyone goes through where we have to tell our phones a million times, “NO! I didn’t mean ducking!” I also use the speech-to-text feature sometimes when I’m driving. I really shouldn’t, because half the time the messages get sent as complete gibberish. The other day, I texted a friend to let her know I was 10 minutes away and wanted to know if she wanted anything from the coffee place on her corner. My phone somehow decided that I said, “I am 10 minuets away. You want me me from the Cortney race?” While that’s definitely not the worst one that’s ever happened to me, it is the most recent. You know you’re laughing. Let’s just say we’re laughing together and not at me, mmkay?

Sure, I hate it when autocorrect makes me look dumb. But I am not afraid to admit that I love it when it happens to other people. Just reading the dumb crap that these phones translate what we really mean into is super entertaining. If I’m ever in need of a good laugh, Damn You Autocorrect always delivers. Or you can simply type, “autocorrect fails” into a search engine. You might be on there for days between the compilation sites, the memes, and the dedicated pages. Some of it is so funny. Other times, you find yourself laughing but feeling that if that text had happened to you, you’d want to die of embarrassment.

There are so many ways to make yourself look like an idiot when using autocorrect. Accidentally sending illicit texts to family members. Cursing when we don’t mean to. Turning swear words into harmless waterfowl. Changing words and screwing up the answers to questions. All with embarrassing or hilarious (or hilariously embarrassing) results. I can’t help it. It’s funny.

The only ways to protect yourself are to either turn the feature off on your phone or read over every message before you hit send. Either one should work, but it won’t be nearly as funny!